New year again

Very long since I've came here. So fast and its near the end of the year again. Nothing much happened this year.. Its just me again..
I just realised something.. I got problems liking a girl i used to be. I used to commit so much and do alot for the girl i like, but now.. I just let the flow carries.. I don have any sad feelings when the girl just don't reply or reject my date. I guess im just used to it. 23 is coming and im still alone. when will i break this curse. When will the girl that make me willing to do alot for her appears? New year resolution: Be a better person. A person that worth a girl to fall in love with me.

help

Guess im really noob in jioing girls. im lost now. Not knowing what to do next.. Can someone teach me..I seriously have no idea what to do on a date to create the spark or make it special.. Maybe im just not fun enough.

Easily confused

Everytime i meet you, my heart really sways. This time, as usual, it swayed like the flame on the candle. I dare not expect too much and what happened last time really scarred me. I don expect you to come and woo me but give me some time to confirm.. I do not want to get rejected for the same reason again.. Maybe you should just act busy and don't meet me. Why treat me so good when you don intend to give me chances. I've grown to be a stronger and mature guy who will analyse the situation before acting recklessly, thanks to you, and thanks to the cruel and materialistic world. I treat you well because i still have feelings for you and what I did are really from my heart. I've told you i don expect any returns.
I tot 1st date will be an important factor, but after the 1st date, I don see any difference in our relationship. 2nd date is so hard to secure and msges are still 4 to 5 everyday. I tot that date was a good one because i really enjoyed myself and i think we did something tat most people wont do in their 1st date and it is unique! Maybe once again the spark is playing with me. I'm sorry but im just a normal guy who cant capture a girls heart with all the talkings and expressing. I can only be a good company and maybe go for the extra miles type of guy. I'm not the guy you see in drama that will make you melt and think that you are the only one in the world. You just have to give me time to prove it..

GROW

QuanBao, grow stronger please. Don't be discourage or sad when a girl doesn't reply you. You've been through so much and last time, the girl you liked the most, forgot to reply you dozens of times and you still proceed. Whats with this heavy stone carried by the heart. There's this one girl, which you think its a good catch, but also a difficult catch, most likely it will take a super long time to woo. an another girl which you think shes super fun to hang out with, talk a lot, but not sure what your good friend is up to.. Why are there so many fuked up things happen to you. Why are you considering for my friend when he has a girlfriend, why cant we have a fair competition. You cant meet her without a car? issit an excuse or what? or are you scared? QuanBao you are such a coward. You don't go straight to the point and you don't fight for the things you want. I think you are pathetic. Bros or whores? why aren't your bro letting you the thing that you want.. Let me make a promise here.. that after thailand trip, i gonna have a fair competition. Before that, if it can't sustain, then its not meant to be...

age of 22

Recently, lots of people want to introduce girls to me. I guess im at the age already.. Feeling old.
Sometimes, i wonder, why my love path is so fucked up. Theres will always be some problems. Some problems which i cant help but give in.. Theres this girl which i din expect to like her, i end up slowly liking her. Its not because of the look, but rather, the character. we clique well and I'm myself when i tok to her. Still, the problem is my good friend is also going after her, and the best part is he has a girlfriend. If talking about first come first serve, ya.. I should back off because i told him im nt interested and encourage him to go for her, but in terms of integrity and fairness, I think he should just give up. Its not fair to his girlfriend and the girl, and of course me. He will end up hurting one of them, and if hes just playing around, he should not hog onto the girl.. Hes my good friend, i cant say anything.. Both are in the wrong and he has no intention of stopping, so i will just back off quietly and hope the girl will not get hurt.. If the girl gets to know me earlier, im sure i will protect her, but now its too late isnt it. Actually, I dont give a damn to his girlfriend, provided he don touch my friends im fine with it. I guess i will stop contacting her and act as per normal. Shes definitely not his type.. and hope you wont ever have ur 1st time crying for a guy.. Goodluck

The wait gets longer..

Arduous year one of EEE finally is over. I manage to secure a 4.12 cgpa. Apparently I'm happy with my result cause i know 4.5 is out of the reach.
Recently, friends have been introducing me female friends. Makes me wonder, do they think that im a good guy and tats why they introduce their friend, or found that I'm rather lonely and is just trying to save me. All my so-called relationships with girls are failures. They are either have no interest in me, have boyfriends, or the worst, treat me like a friend. Will the 'one' actually come up to me herself without me looking for her? Spare me please before i give up all hopes. I thought god is fair, but hes nv been fair to me in terms of relationship. Not that im rich or smart..  Sometimes, i try to think that without girls, life is still fine, and for sure, that is to console myself. Girls will start flocking in if one has the money, but thats not what i wanted. I do not want one of those materialistic practical relationships. Theres still one person i'm waiting for...

Exam period

Its near the exam period. 1st time i blogged when im in the hall. The urge to spit every thoughts out is so strong. Stress is piling up and life really is a mess. Dull i would say. Study and study. Hope exam will end quickly and i can relax for just a moment. On a side track, i think im slowly giving up. The response that i received is like " please don't come and annoy me, im not interested" Im sick of all these actually.. Futile effort that ive made. Maybe i should jus put my effort on other girls.. The girls in our clique slowly get attached one by one, reminding me that we are growing old.. Time waits no man.. but who am i waiting for.. Hope i can find my answer after my exam. or izzit jus another false hope. Lets get through this together!

Accustomed

People will eventually accept things that they have been exposed to long enough. whether they like it or not. And reality is, no matter how seemingly impossible some things might be, the braver you are to face it, the more you will accept it. Not with a pinch of salt definitely but you will, hook or crook

Read it somewhere.. Its quite true. In physics term, maybe its call darwin's revolution.

After so Long..

So long since I've last blogged. Life been really busy with school work. I don't even have time to think of what to do for the next week or next next week. I just want to survive the week. I'm afraid I can't maintain my GPA 4 as i think i had overloaded my modules. If i manage to survive this semester, then I don't think i will have any problems in the future.
Went out with her alone for the first time after 1 year.. The feeling was still alright. I'm no longer so nervous or excited. I guess I'm being passive now and all i can do is wait. Not that i dont like her anymore, just that.. I no longer feel that I'm filled with hopes. Continue to be passive and wait for her is the only thing i can do now and till i find another girl that's worth my wait.. After the date, it gets me thinking a lot.. thinking should i proceed further or just wait. but if waiting, how long do i have to wait? i cant be waiting forever and do nothing abt it. shes not going to say shes going to accept me if thats going to happen. What if she go out with me as a friend and i put her in a bad position again.. I dont want to put her in a bad position again because i have to be an understanding guy, if not this relationship will be never ending.. These trend of thoughts bother me for days and i know my inner self is scared.. scared of being rejected again and scared that everything will roll back to the vicious cycle.. My mind only had this answer.. that is if im gonna ask her again.. that will surely be the last time because after one year, shes still single. If up till now, she rather be single for one year and dont consider me.. i guess what i do wont matter anymore.. Gave her an organiser, but i don think she likes it. She never even mention abt the things that i've drawn there. Also, i think i cut the photos badly.. my writings are ugly.. but what to do.. im never good at art.. wanted to gave her a pot of rose to grow but brandon gave her a living thing. so i don think she will wan to take care of another plant. haha..
I'm such a wimp.. I don have the courage to talk about our relationship when i meet her.. maybe its because its our 1st date after so long.. but still.. i know it myself... Everything will start after my exam i think, if she is willing to go out with me again.. valentino.. 

If You are okay, then im okay too

It hasn’t been that long since we stopped talking, and I know the distance is good for us, but I miss you. Damn, I miss you. It’s not that I can’t survive without you, I’m just so afraid this is more than just “time.” I want you in my life. I don’t want to give up our friendship. But, if you’re okay, then I’m okay too.

How true is this.

22nd birthday

This year's birthday have got totally no feel. Don't even feel like celebrating. I no longer looking forward to it as there is currently no one that I really want to spend with, or rather, I can't spend with the one i wanted to spend with anymore. Maybe i will just scribble down my birthday wishes and new year resolution together since they all do seem similar to me.
1) Study well and get a good gpa. If not just faster finish my exams
2) Hope my health will be better and I will get fatter.
3) Hope my special one jus come..
4) Learn the skill of sweet talking or even just praising girls that will make them happy
Nth much already.. cos i always have no problems maintaining friendship or fostering it hence no friendship problem. Only problem is love relationship. Maybe god is fair..

Anyway.. i will like to hope that this coming birthday.. I will like to spend with the girl i like alone.. even if its jus potential partner it will be just fine..